Let's jump right in: I MISS THE NINETEEN-NINETIES.
The fashion, the food, the lingo, the simple pleasure of connecting to dial-up Internet so you could play Carmen San Diego for 15 minutes before your mom needed to send a fax. Sweet pre-millennium bliss. But, before I go too far down memory lane, we need to talk about something.
NINETIES FASHION: Where is it, what happened to it, and HOW do we get it back?!
THE WHY
Here’s the thing, readers: What is fashion today?
**Insert old lady joke**
I don't get it, and TBH I am very tired of this Gen-Z-half-ass-90's-baby thing that’s running wild on THE INTERNET. (Remember life before the internet? I DO.) As an OG 1990 baby, I became a person during the 90's. My fashion icons were Tia & Tamera, DJ Tanner, and literally every single Spice Girl.
All I wanted in the world was a yellow skip-it to match my plastic beaded choker and all the acid-washed-baby-pink denim money could buy. My older cousin had every Barbie accessory you could imagine (including the high heeled shoes that never stayed on Barbie’s weirdly arched feet), and we had every glitter-ball-barrette and velvet scrunchie Claire’s had to offer. Neon colors, pastel florals, matching sets...Here's the thing: I WANT IT ALL BACK.
Somehow, 90’s ‘nostalgia fashion’ has become a strange blend of the late 80s, mid-late 90s, and the early 2000’s (which is a whole other genre, by the way).
Y2K Fashion will have to wait for another post (stay tuned!), but for now, let’s take a deep dark dive into my all-time favorite decade of fashion: THE TRUE NINETEEN-NINETIES.
**If, by some horrible mistake, you feel affronted by my aggressive-90s-kid ramblings...I’m sorry, but tough friggin’ noogies. If you were born after 1993, we really can’t talk about this.**
90’S NOSTALGIA FASHION
I NEED BACK RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW
1. Matching Sets
I don’t mean the 2020 version of a matching set, which is basically a bodycon dress cut in half. I'm talking SHOULDER PADDED EMBROIDERED FRIGGIN’ DENIM VESTS. I mean PASTEL FLORAL FABRIC. I mean plaid and checkers and ACID WASHED DENIM. I mean the matchy-matchy shoelace clips because if everything didn’t go together, you wanted to die a thousand deaths.
Lest we forget, dear readers, fashion is evolutionary. What started out as leisure suits turned into velour jumpsuits turned into MATCHING FREAKIN SETS. And guess what? It’s all amazing. (I specifically remember begging my mom to let me take my cousin’s too-small-floral-denim-skirt-vest set. She said no, and I never got over it.)
2. ‘MOM JEANS’
Of course, back in the day, these weren’t called ‘mom jeans’. They were just...jeans.
And guess what?! They were incredible.
Remember that aggressively thick 90’s denim? SO DO I. Nothing felt better than slipping my kid legs into some high waisted, ankle-tapered, starchy-as-hell jeans. They felt like the comfy-yet-secure pant I never wanted to take off.
To all of my Born-After-1993-ers...you’re probably all, “YEAH I HAVE MOM JEANS”. But, I’m sorry, you don’t. You have the new weird version of mom jeans, which are still cut for the modern Millennial and Gen-Z body. So, you basically have no idea what I'm talking about.
90's jeans were NOT about showing off your side abs or belly button rings (that’s Y2K fashion and don’t get me started). 90's jeans were about comfort, durability, and a MOOD. Textures, textiles, glitter, beads...everything was fair game.
90's denim could papercut a brick, and I’ll be here for it for the rest of my miserably old life. Mom Jeans are the modern day utility pant and I’m tired of talking about it.
And you can’t even buy them anywhere but eBay so don’t tell me H&M has them.
Just stop it.
3. Elaborate Hair Cuts
Is this just an excuse to bring up DJ Tanner? Maybe.
But, you know what? Hairspray might have destroyed the Ozone Layer, but it did wonders for those pesky flyaways, wispies, and - gasp - 90's BANGS.
**Disclaimer** - I’ve cut my own bangs several times in my life, sometimes (usually) to my own detriment. It all started in 1998, when enough was enough. I decided my mom didn’t know WHAT she was talking about, and that I would look absolutely fabulous with bangs.
Spoiler: It was a colossal mistake. My hair shrank up like a poodle in a tropical thunderstorm, and I basically spent the rest of the 1990's trying to control it under my large padded headbands. While those memories still haunt and trigger my forehead, I do miss seeing all the different types of bangs running around. Wispy, spiky, chunky, asymmetrical. It was glorious.
But, what are bangs, these days, anyway? Suddenly, ‘90’s hair’ is a thing (thanks, INTERNET), and I don’t get what I’m looking at. You use a roller brush and a blow dryer on your hair...and then what? Your ends curl up and it’s suddenly 1998? WRONG.
P.S. Black girls have been “bumping their edges” WITHOUT CEASE since 1965, and we’re not stopping anytime soon.
4. EVERY TYPE OF WINDBREAKER
How did I excel at every game of “Seven Up” in 4th grade?
Easy. I followed the sound of the windbreaker. Swishy sounds? You’re IT.
I had several windbreakers during the mid-late nineties. Some were solo jackets, one was Olympics-themed, some were part of matching sets (which you know I love).They were each their own mood and I couldn't get enough. My mom also had several sets, and we would parade around town, running our Sunday errands feeling like Sister freakin Sister. I loved every minute of it, and it’s an immense bummer that the only windbreaker sets now approved by THE FASHION POLICE are mainly cheap copycats or Tommy Hilfiger (again, don’t get me started).
Pop Quiz: What’s the only thing better than a windbreaker set? A REVERSIBLE WINDBREAKER SET. And, yes, I had one. And, yes, I wore it all the time. Along with my reversible down jacket (teal and hot pink, baybayyyy).
Conclusion: Never get rid of your windbreakers, you'll hate yourself forever.
5. AGGRESSIVELY BRIGHT WORKOUT CLOTHES
I don’t know...maybe it’s me, but everything nowadays in the workout department feels so...blah. And, yes, we are truly the “Athleisure Generation” - We thrive on Lululemon yoga pants and Uniqlo vests and FILA sneakers (another copycat remake).
But, what happened to the hot pink leotard with light blue tights and yellow leg warmers?
(And, while we’re on the subject - What the hell happened to leg warmers? No one’s legs get cold anymore??) Where are the sweatbands for your forehead AND your wrists? Where are the little belts that tied the whole look together?
Where’s the outfit from the episode of Full House when DJ hides an eating disorder from her family and goes too hard at the gym and freakin' FAINTS?!? Where are THOSE outfits?
Because now I can’t even find them at a Halloween store (yes, I’ve checked). I’m devastated because, unlike mom jeans, this is a look I’m not sure will have a comeuppance anytime soon.
Alas. **Suddenly starts doing aerobics**
6. FRINGE. JACKETS.
It’s a very specific request, but I want it and basically can’t find it anymore. WHERE IS ALL THE FRINGE?
Where are the white leather jackets BEJEWELED AND ADORNED WITH FRINGE?! WHERE is every fringed and bedazzled fringe jacket Nomi and Crystal wear in the 1995 film spectacular SHOWGIRLS?!? Where’s the cowgirl chic attire (if cowgirls ever were actually considered chic…)? Where are the - yes, again - MATCHING SETS?! Fringe has become a thing of the past, but I still rock my fake-suede Torrid jacket like it’s 1991.
Alas, it’s not the same. And, again, my only solace is...eBay. I love you, eBay.
7. AUTHENTIC COLOR-BLOCKING
Again, yes, I realize this look is having a resurgence. But, just like the perfect ham and cheese summer camp sandwich you try to recreate later...the shit don’t slap the same.
It’s NOT THE SAME, guys, and I can’t let it go.
I don’t mean color-blocking fashion, as worn by Gen-Z’ers and other subdivisions of youths. I mean the color-block fashion that EVERYONE WORE.
Your mom, your teen babysitter, your kooky art teacher...everyone loved it. Windbreakers, jean jackets, cocktail dresses, EVERYONE WORE THEM. They were the vibrant color-pop statement textile of the late 80s and early-mid 90's, and it was fabulous. So, yeah. I miss those days. My Ask: Bring back color blocking, preferably in materials other than spandex and rayon (ahem, starchy 90’s denim).
FINAL THOUGHTS
At the end of the day, time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'...into a cosmic fashion train wreck. Some of our best fashion days might be behind us, but hey! All might not be lost.
After all, we 90's kids are now MILLENIAL ADULTS (eek), so there is still hope that we will one day accurately and ardently revive the styles of our nostalgia years. Right?! (Sigh).
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