It's possible, I promise.
For all the Enthusiastic Holiday Celebrators out there, I feel your pain.
This year sucks.
Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to buy (and, in my case, very little to buy things with). It’s easy to fall into a pit of despair, but all is not lost. During my three-month (and counting) stay back at home on Long Island (thanks furlough and squatter-ex-roommate), I’ve picked up a few tricks to make the holidays feel less like you’re a single, thirty-year old writer/actor/blogger trying to grow your business while simultaneously crying yourself to sleep with wine as your boyfriend pillow.
Or is that just me?
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5 Ways to Avoid
Falling Into a Pit of Holiday Despair
1. Accept that this year is unlike any other year.
Everything feels weird this year. Smaller crowds, smaller gatherings, and - for most - smaller bank accounts. Maybe you can’t ball out on beauty products and lavish gifts for loved ones. Maybe (hopefully) you’re not traveling via bus, plane, and train to see extended family. Maybe you’re not going on any romantic holiday dates (Re: Single Thirty-year Old Woman), BUT...acceptance can make things feel a little less jilting. Start off with something simple: Acknowledge the weirdness of this year. Now, let’s try to make the most of it.
2. Make a List of All the Stuff You LOVE About the Holidays
For me, the holidays are all about comfort food, Christmas cocktails, board games, family, and love.
A Christmas Romance isn’t in the cards for me, but that’s okay! I’m shifting my impending holiday loneliness to something a little more tangible.
Make a list of all the stuff you really look forward to during the holidays.
That could include walks through the snowy streets, checking out store windows or well-lit homes, lighting a bunch of scented candles, watching your favorite holiday movies, etc. It seems like a simple step, but writing everything out can help assess what it is you’re TRULY missing this year. Spending an evening playing board games with my family or having a Christmas Zoom Happy Hour with my socially-distant best friends has made ALL the difference during an otherwise lonely-feeling day. Start with the list and take it from there.
3. Modify Your List to Accommodate Your Circumstances
This year, I’m spending my holiday season at home.
Not my New York City home...my Long Island home.
Unplanned and less than ideal (Re: Single Thirty-year Old Woman), I spent the first month home feeling incredibly low. But, dear readers, this is NOT the time to beat ourselves up about our circumstances. If this year has shown us anything, it’s that many (if not all) things are beyond our control right now.
So, take that lovely holiday wish list and turn it into something ACTIONABLE.
For example, I can’t go shopping in the city or go to holiday parties or eat out every night. I CAN bartend my own holiday cocktails, schedule virtual happy hours with friends, and online-shop til I drop. Due to a kitchen renovation, we can’t hang up all of our favorite nostalgia decorations. But, I CAN hang lights in my bedroom, light my favorite holiday candles, and snuggle up with a book I love. I can’t go to the gym every morning, but I CAN go on winter morning walks and find a challenging yoga video online.
See where I’m going with this? Take those stupid 2020 lemons and make some killer holiday lemonade.
4. Make Time For Yourself (whatever that looks like)
I don’t necessarily mean treat yourself to a spa day (Re: Bank Account). Time for yourself could mean a quiet cup of tea in the morning before your (very) loud family starts screaming about who burnt the bacon. Time for yourself could be a holiday movie marathon on a dreary day. Time for yourself could be something as simple as turning off your phone for a while.
Only YOU know what you truly need to feel settled and at peace. This year has been a LOT. Everyone deserves time alone in your own space. Find what that is and make time for it.
5. Do Something Kind For Someone Else
Hey...what better way to get over your own holiday blues than spreading cheer to someone else? Trick question. There is no better way.
Maybe your very-busy-single-mom-neighbor needs some help running errands. Maybe you want to volunteer your time delivering meals to elderly people who have been isolated in their apartments for months. Maybe you just want to bake cookies and mail them to your friends who are unable to go home for Christmas. Everyone is struggling. It’s easy to get sucked into our own despair, but we can pull ourselves out again, if we try hard enough.
Final Thoughts
If none of the things on this list appealed to you, BAH-HUMBUG. The holiday season is what we make of it. And, unlike most of the circumstances surrounding 2020, we have a choice to make the most of it.
Happy Holidays. Stay home and don’t breathe on anyone.
XOXO
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